Travel as a Couple 

This is a question we are asked all of the time. How do you keep the relationship fresh? How do you handle spending 24 hours a day traveling, working and growing future businesses together? Travel as a Couple is not always easy especially if it is long term, but done right it can be one of the best decisions that you can make to build a relationship that will go the distance. 
For those who are not aware we are Cassie and Nate Goodluck-Johnson (yes this is our real name, we hyphenated our name when we got married 7 years ago because when you get a chance to have a part of such a great last name you take it).  We made the commitment to live free from a 40-hour workweek when we left the USA and ventured down to Mexico in 2018. Then we often ended up working 60+ hours a week abroad, just to grow our own travel and video business as well as do freelance work on the side to bring in an income. Why? Ultimately we wanted to travel whenever, make our own schedule and be our own boss.
We work together, we travel together and usually if you see one of us the other is not far behind.  Similar to our cats who like to follow us around from room to room 🙂 It is not all sunshine and rainbows but there are certain things that we do to make travel as a couple work and we wanted to show you a couple of our strategies for staying happy and proactive, even during the bumps, as we continue growing and learning together.

Learn How To Argue In The Right Way:

Traveling as a couple, fights are going to happen and after 7 years together we have learned how to push each other’s buttons fairly easily.  We learned a while back from a workshop that instead of using the blame game, you should state your desires and feelings in the first person, instead of telling your better half what they should do, which can often make the other person feel defensive.  This along with using reason has solved a lot of issues with spending every moment together.

Also, make sure that if there is a need to separate and go for a walk that you both give each other the space to do so.  When arguments are revisited after a half-hour walk or some meditation, things don’t feel so desperate or strained. We find we are usually able to either laugh a little about it, or say sorry and hug it out.

Morning Routines:

We think these are the most important things to do. If you start off on the right track in the morning, the rest of the day is filled with inspiration and the feeling of a good amount of structure and flow. If you want, check out our morning routine here.

Oh and possibly the most important morning rule for us has been: “FIRST COFFEE, TEA, then MORE COFFEE and TEA, please.”

Take Artists Dates & Write Morning Pages

 We call them solo artist’s dates, but it is whatever you want to call them.  When traveling as a couple it is important to be strong together and equally strong as an individual.  

We like to use “The Artist’s Way” workbook by Julia Cameron to model a lot of our free time and our Mourning Routine. One of those strategies is taking time to take care of the inner creative you. 

 

Artist Dates

Throw on some headphones and head to a museum to take in all of the colorful inspiration by yourself and see the world without any distraction. Or make a plan to check out something your other half is less than enthused to see, while you are traveling the world!

Have you been itching to take a painting class? Watch a jazz band play at the cafe around the corner? People watch in Central Park while you jot down notes in your journal? Get out and do it. And collect inspiration like pictures for a collage — filling that inner well for further creativity.

What the Heck Are Morning Pages?

The Morning Pages simply put – is 3 pages of stream of consciousness writing in your journal first thing when you wake up. We love to have a cup of coffee or tea as we scrawl across the pages. This has become a constant source of inspiration, as well as source of different breakthroughs in our creative/business part of our life as well as the personal side of life. 

It is a way to get out all of your thoughts and feelings, no matter how “silly” it may seem, is both extremely cathartic as well as a powerful vehicle for bringing about many amazing ideas and exploring your own creative genius.  Check out the Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron as soon as you can. You won’t regret it.

Plan Plan Plan

Without a blueprint of what you are doing life can get confusing, which can obviously lead to stress. We like short-term and long-term travel and business plans. 

Dream Calendar

Setting up a big calendar with all of the things you want to do and activities that you want to do, can also be a great bonding element as you travel as a couple. Just getting on the same page, literally and metaphorically, is a great way to feel heard, respected and grounded. 

Take time to really think about your priorities and block those items out first. Want to write a book? Film a documentary? Launch a business? These will likely be some of your most important items that will take lots of time and energy to develop.

The other less important items, may be urgent but aren’t necessarily the most important in the long term – so these can come next and fill in the empty slots.

Dream Trips

We also love to have a few places in mind that we want to visit and as we work with our budget for the coming months, we see how we can fit in trips to certain places with how much money we have allotted for those places and time periods. 

This is where certain travel search engines (in incognito mode) can really help with finding the best deals on airfares and accommodations. We love Kayak, Skyscanner, Google Flights, Expedia, Travel Orbitz, and Airbnb. Remember to clear out your cookies, otherwise the prices can get jacked up based on your search history.

World Domination Jar

This idea is borrowed from our awesome friend Heath Armstrong of Rage Create (check out his domination deck for the best and most unique inspirational cards to start out your day here). Mixing things up and embracing the randomness of life helps a ton and makes things fun and lighthearted

We have a jar named the ‘World Domination’ jar with activities that we have dreamed of doing. When we pass a goal or finish a big project we choose one item from the jar and it needs to be accomplished in the next 6 months. Activities include easier things like camping at the beach and learning how to dance salsa to more extravagant things like traveling to Peru and hiking to Macchu Picchu for a couple of weeks.

Randomness will break up any tension that exists and will shake up any issues when it comes to your creative spirit and an all too common slump of the mundane and boredom. 

Other Tips on How to Travel and Work As a Couple:

Communication

The main thing is communication. It can be hard when you both want different things at different times – but as long as you keep the avenue of communication between the two of you open, there is no conflict or difference that can’t be figured out. Once you are able to talk openly about what each of you really want out of your travels, you can usually find a good compromise that makes both of you happy. That might be that one person goes solo to see that museum while the other gets some much needed rest or downtime and then you both meet back up for a dinner date at that Italian restaurant around the corner.

Flexibility

Which brings us to our next point. Flexibility. To be able to be flexible on things is so important. This is not to mean that you should give up on your dreams or desires, it just means that you are able to take into account where the other person is coming from and are able to bend your way or “agenda” a little to accommodate that person. That is one of the beautiful things about being in a couple or married. It’s a team effort and about striking the right chord where both parties can be happy. Flexibility can go a long way to achieving that sense of harmony and balance.

 

 

 

** Bonus tips from other couples who travel **

Kat and Chris @ World Wide Honeymoon

Our friends Kat and Chris at World Wide Honeymoon are a great example of couples who travel together. Check out their tips below for how to keep yourself happy and healthy on your travels. Also check out their site on more travel tips and information about traveling the world. 

https://worldwidehoneymoon.com/

Tips for Being Happy While Traveling as a Couple

1. Communication is key. 

Okay, when you travel with your significant other a lot, you are bound to get into an argument. A
missed flight, getting lost, etc. can be stressful and cause a spat. That is totally NORMAL. While you may beat yourself up about it and compare your relationship to those smiling couples online,
remember those little squares are never the whole picture.

But, while arguing can happen, it helps to communicate your feelings and expectations ahead of time. For example, if you know that being hungry makes you cranky, tell you’re SO that and let them know when you need to get food. Or if you prefer to get to the airport early to avoid the stress of a missed flight, emphasize this to your partner.

Also, communicating your travel expectations is super important. You may be the person who loves to get up early, see the sights, and spend the whole day running from place to place.
Your partner may be the beach bum type that would prefer to sleep in and get some sun. Communicating your travel expectations early on can help you adjust your travel style to fit both partners’ needs without causing an argument during your trip.

2.  Put the camera down and be in the moment.
As travel bloggers, it can be hard to put the camera down and not constantly think about what articles I’ll write when we get home. But our best moments while traveling are when we are in the moment and enjoying our surroundings with each other.

Whether it is watching a sunset over the African savannah or sitting at a café in Paris
enjoying the best hot chocolate ever, the best moments are shared moments.

So put down the camera and phone and take the time to have a long, romantic stroll or dinner. That has brought us closer than anything while traveling.

Tuyana and Dario

Our good travel friends Dario and Tuyana wrote us their travel tips while on a trip from Danang city, Vietnam. Check out the advice for travel as a couple below.

 

Tip 1. The first tip is to have a practice trip!

We lived together in a tiny apartment for a few months before we started moving. It was a great reality check to see if we were compatible in tiny and uncomfortable circumstances:) about a month should do it…you’ll see if you can handle being at ease with another person in a challenging environment.

Tip 2! Talk about money and budget before you move!

Either one person’s going to pay for everything, or you’ll split it (and how’s that going to work), or you’ll put everything on a card and pay it off later….just important to get that talk out of the way so it doesn’t need to come up right when you move, especially if one person has less money, they shouldn’t need to feel ashamed or embarrassed etc….hope it helps! Definitely being open and accepting of your partner for who they are…that’s the key!

Pet Peeves and Preventing Meltdowns

One more big tip would be to know in advance what the biggest pet peeves or quirks about the other person are (through communication prior). Then based on that have an action plan to prevent getting into situations that would cause that pet peeve to be triggered.

One example is that Nate is very punctual and prefers to arrive to places early, especially when it comes to the airport. Of course this is also important to Cassie, but she is less punctual by nature. Therefore one work around we have found to avoid being in a huge rush and causing both of us a lot of worry, stress and tension, is to have everything packed and ready to go the day before traveling. To have all of our ducks in a row when it comes to the address of where we are going and how we are going to get there, whether by uber, taxi, bus, rental car or train, as well as the latest time we can leave.

Trust us, we have definitely broken this rule, and it almost always leads to a lot of stress and typically a fight. Take our word for it, find out what those biggest pet peeves or weak points are in your relationship and do your best to set up solutions or action plans to avoid ever getting to that point. And if you do ever get to that point, deep, deep breaths first 🙂

Another example would be if one or both people get hangry, a combination of hungry and angry, which can lead to fights and tension. Make sure to have a snack in your backpack or a place and time in mind to eat in between your activities. These things are very important to remember. 

H.A.L.T.

Our last big tip is to remember the acronym HALT, which stands for Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired.

Check in with yourself a lot about these different factors as you go along on your travels. One thing we have found is that when you are out of your home, or comfort zone, or the place you are both used to, and especially when “fast traveling” (traveling from city to city every couple of days), it is very important to practice SELF-CARE.

This is a responsibility every person has, and you must remember to take care of yourself well, as traveling can be really draining over time. Maybe that means going to bed at 8pm instead of staying out at the fun bar until midnight. Or maybe it means going the extra mile to find a health food store and drinking a green smoothie.  

It might mean downloading an exercise app (we love Sworkit, 5k Runner, and Asana Rebel) and working out first thing in the morning. Whatever it is – make sure you are attending to your own needs. This might be as simple as taking 5 minutes to meditate and breathe.

At the end of the day, it most definitely means making sure you get enough water (carry a water bottle!), sleep, exercise, and healthy food to keep going!
We hope you enjoyed our list of tips on traveling and working as a married couple! If you have anything else to add that we missed please tell us in the comments below! We would love to hear from you. Thank you for reading.

If you found this helpful, please be sure to share this on Facebook or social media and like us on the blog!

Like it, Pin It!!!!!