Getting dengue fever in Thailand and feeling like I was dying taught me a lot about myself and what is most important to me. But first, let me tell you the story from the beginning…

We had decided to go to Southeast Asia last summer of 2018 when my old family friend randomly reached out to me on messenger and asked me if I would be interested in being a part of her indie film in Bali, slated to shoot in May of 2019. After talking to Nate we both felt excited about the offer, mainly because it was the perfect opportunity to go to a part of the world we had been wanting to see for a long time and had never been. So despite the financial concerns and drawbacks (we weren’t getting paid to work on the film, it would be deferred if it made anything down the line) – we decided to go for it. 

Getting Ready For Asia

As we were starting to approach the date things came together very last minute. We found our cat sitter at the Location Indie Mex Ex conference which we attended in February of 2019 in Queretaro, Mexico. It worked out perfectly for Isaac from San Francisco who speaks perfect Spanish (he is originally from Nicaragua), and who had wanted to move to a new country by July of 2019. He had also fallen in love with Mexico from his time at the conference.

The next thing we needed to do was get our plane tickets, which we did thanks to Nate’s amazing new knowledge of a few travel hacks where he was able to rack up a bunch of points on his travel credit cards. Our one way tickets to Bangkok ended up costing the two of us a MERE $14.40 USD. Getting a bunch of last minute things together like packing, cleaning and stocking up on enough cat supplies was challenging but we managed to get on that plane after putting our Merida house key in the hands of Isaac during an epic pass off and insanely quick crossover at the Merida airport. He arrived at 6:30am and our flight left at 8:30am the same day! 

Three months without our cats was going to be tough for sure but it gave us the time and flexibility to explore a new part of the world on our own terms and without a clearly defined itinerary. We could go wherever the wind decided to take us at the drop of a hat. But along with this cavalier attitude also came a major lack of due diligence about the state of the countries we were planning to visit. Some of our family had asked us if we had researched the vaccines and preventions we needed and got that all taken care of but we kind of blew it off saying we would, but we never did. Things were really busy for us up until take off time, and it just kept getting put off.

The thing about dengue is that you can’t get vaccinated for it anyway, but what we didn’t realize before heading to Thailand was that there was already an epidemic outbreak of dengue there. If we had known that maybe we would have stocked up on heavy duty DEET bug spray instead of bringing the eco-friendly spray we had bought for our Tulum, Mexico trip two years before. Of course we never want to hurt the environment but if we had realized how serious the outbreak was I’m sure we would’ve amped up our protection levels full throttle.

Flying To Bangkok, Thailand

Getting to Thailand was a very long and arduous journey. Several hours to Houston with a day and a half layover where we got to spend some time with extended family was very nice. Then 24 hours more to Taiwan and finally Bangkok, Thailand – the home to the new royal king who had just been sworn in the weekend before.

Stepping off the plane, the air made Houston’s climate seem frigid and there was quite a bit of smog and humidity mixed together. Getting our bags and the kiosk with the key to our airbnb took a long time, and then finally we were racing in a taxi to find our airbnb, which took a lot longer than we had anticipated since the address on the airbnb site didn’t match the real location!

Thankfully our taxi driver was kind enough to help us find it – a very tall 35 story apartment building we saw in the airbnb pictures stood out among the short buildings. We were beat, jet lagged and exhausted. Driving through the little alleyways reminded me a bit of our travels in Northern India – bustling, colorful and frenetic. A kind of beautiful chaos that leaves a deep imprint in you.

Exploring Bangkok

We spent the next few days exploring Bangkok, by foot and tuk tuk – seeing temples, ceremonial flower markets and the Grand Palace. We were also working on our laptops – Nate making money teaching English on VIP Kid and I was preparing to be the assistant director for the film we were slated to work on a couple weeks down the line in Bali, as well as editing for a documentary remotely. Our jet lag made it so we would fall asleep by around 6 or 7 pm every night and wake up buzzing ready to go by 2am! It was the earliest I ever woke up in my life and it was fun to get out of the house before 7am. 

Here we are at the Grand Palace in Bangkok, Thailand.

After a few days exploring the capital of Thailand we were ready to leave the busyness and enter paradise via Krabi (in southern Thailand) for a week. We had seen countless pictures on instagram and travel blogs of the limestone rocks jutting out of the turquoise sea like vertical, jagged mountains. My first inkling of the drop dead beauty of this place was when I watched the movie The Beach as a teenager. With the backdrop of Moby’s song Porcelain, I saw the shimmering water, the secret coves and beaches, the palm trees and waterfalls cutting through the jungle and thought, someday I have to go there. Epic. Paradise.

Heading to the Krabi Coast in Southern Thailand

We finally boarded the plane from Bangkok after intentionally missing our first original flight that morning. One word from the wise – always upgrade your plane ticket well in advance to include the number of checked bags you have because arriving at the last minute with the need to upgrade WILL cost you, especially in countries outside America. It would have cost us several hundred dollars for two bags. Um, no thank you! So we bought two one way tickets for later that morning for the cost of just $120.

Flying above the incredibly turquoise waters and green islands we touched down in Krabi. We took a shuttle heading to Aa Nong pier about 45 minutes away, but got off at the wrong stop since the name was so similar. We then hopped on another open air shuttle with all of our luggage until we finally made it to Aa Nong. A woman lacking in any kind of friendliness impatiently told us we would have to wait for six more people to take a longtail boat to our destination of Tonsai beach unless we wanted to pay the full price of the boat. Tonsai beach is around the curve of the coastline peninsula and is nestled between huge limestone rock barricades. There is no other way to get there than by boat. 

Magically within seconds there were six more tourists ready to come with us. We hopped on yet another open air shuttle to the pier. A young German woman with a hippie skirt, blonde dreadlocks and a bikini top chatted with us on the way telling us how beautiful the beach was and “were we into rock climbing?” No, not really. We just wanted the rustic beauty of a Thai beach bungalow. We found out we were paying more than her, but we didn’t mind too much since we were only spending around $16 per night.

Beautiful & Remote Tonsai Beach

We pulled into Tonsai beach, hopping out and into the foot deep water with our backpacks, doing our best not to get our stuff wet. Walking past the humongous limestone walls to our left we could hear the cicadas start their evening chorus. Finding our little slice of heaven we dropped our bags in the little cabin – which was very rustic, cute and HOT. Beautiful and blending into nature, the humidity and number of bugs was the sacrifice you paid to live amongst such serene and remote beauty. I don’t think there were more than a couple other guests staying, as it was during the off season. 

 The next few days were a blast. We got to see a family of monkeys frolicking who were living in the trees all around our cabin, not too afraid of humans and as comfortable swinging from treetop to treetop as anything you see on Animal Planet. We walked from our cabin to the beach by cutting over a love-graffiti covered wall and into an empty lot of palm trees that was obviously the construction site for the beginning of some kind of beach resort, according to the locals.

From there we passed by a group of very fit and tan hippies taking turns climbing the limestone wall dropping into the ocean and spotted our German blonde dreadlocked friend, waving to her. It looked like a lot of fun. From there we hiked over the mildly treacherous path along the limestone formations separating Tonsai beach from Railay beach. We went through a little jungle patch to the next door of Railay, a much more popular beach with dozens of restaurants, shops and bars. The beach was also white, smooth sand as opposed to our rougher, rockier brown beach of Tonsai – as though they had prepared it manmade for all the tourists.

Exploring Nextdoor in Railay Beach

Exploring Railay was a lot of fun and we kept feeling like we were on a Caribbean island with all of the Bob Marley themed bars and shops. We met another Austarlian woman that night (who we had first met on the longtail boat ride) as we looked up at the stars shining down on a shimmering sea that was lapping at our feet. She told us how she’d been coming here for decades. She had carved out an unconventional living as a fire dancer on the beaches of the Phi Phi islands nearby, while also immersing herself in Thai culture. She told us how much it had changed over the years from a pristine paradise, to an overpopulated, over touristy, trashier place. She blamed the tourists, people she felt usually had absolutely zero respect or regard for the Thai people who made up the bulk of the workforce who served them.

What a common theme you see throughout the world, I thought to myself. She told us that most of the Thai people were on the surface polite and hospitable, but underneath there was a very deep and ingrained resentment towards foreigners because so much disrespect and injustice had happened that couldn’t be forgotten. The Thai traditional way always called for a graceful and pleasant demeanor, she said, but the feelings of defense were there. It made me feel sad but also happy to have met someone who seemed to be placed in our path at the right time. An insightful person who could help us understand a new culture which we knew hardly anything about, with a more sensitive perception.

Reflections in Bangkok, Thailand

In Bangkok I had felt a sense of uneasiness and a tint of roughness or coldness from some of the people we encountered. Certainly not everyone, but definitely some of those guarding the temples, or palaces, and for good reason, I guess. It seemed to be in stark contrast to our experience we had with locals in the Yucatan, Mexico – where we had always felt so immediately and warmly welcomed.  Perhaps I had not done enough research about the cultural differences as I should have beforehand. Personally I had felt a tiny bit of prejudice as a woman, as if my presence and opinion was less important than my husband’s or that of a man’s. I could have been wrong in my perception, but it was just this subconscious feeling I was getting when we were there. 

In Railay Beach, the vibe felt much more relaxed, open and friendly. I felt my defenses go down. The beauty and serenity of the land seemed to put everyone at ease.  It was like your soul could finally exhale.

We decided not to hike back home on the shorter treacherous beachside hike we had taken in the daylight. So we found our way past the main row of restaurants, cutting across the other side of the peninsula to try and take the longer but apparently safer one hour hike through the mainland.  After we passed by the lights of the small village on the outskirts of Railay, we were heading towards an all encompassing darkness, using our iphones for light, and then we heard a scary barking coming from the void. A shudder ran through my spine.

We rightly decided to turn back around to the main strip of Railay beach.  At the popular beach we found the last longtail boat in the little cove and took it for a quick two minute ride back to Tonsai. As we were the only passengers we had to pay the full price of the boat, but that was okay. At least we didn’t have to face getting lost in the scary, dark ravines of the jungle or getting eaten by a pack of ravenous dogs. We hit the hay as soon as we got back, not paying any attention to the fact that some mosquitoes had gotten into our room.

Kayaking around Railay Beach 

The next two days consisted of my favorite time spent in Thailand. Kayaking from Tonsai beach all around the peninsula of Railay, which had three main beaches and numerous limestone rock islands with abundant wildlife to spot, secret caves and not a single human. Just crabs the color of the rocks, a black and white striped snake hanging from the rocks and a huge, slow moving lizard crawling along. Also hundreds of beautiful, frightening, giant white jellyfish abounded in the turquoise waters. 

A storm was brewing in the sky at that point, parting the bright, blue skies, so we jumped in the kayak and paddled back as fast as we could in the warm rain to Tonsai beach. Near our bungalow we stopped and got our first Thai massages by two of the sweetest women we ever met. My masseuse made me laugh so hard – one of those insane, long lasting, cathartic laughs that I just couldn’t seem to stop. When she started kneading the back of my calves (which were apparently extremely tight) she made me giggle and gasp a little bit, and then she said in a heavy Thai accent: “Your first time massage??” I couldn’t quit laughing with every pressure point because, though it wasn’t my first massage, it was the first one in a long time and I was as tight as a tightrope! Pretty soon Nate and the whole shop was laughing with me. It’s amazing what laughter can do despite the limited amount of communication that was possible among us. We left so relaxed and ready for bed. 

Hiking to the “Viewpoint” in Railay Beach

The next and last day there was spent fighting mosquitos off, playing with the bungalow ground’s resident cat – an adorable grey tabby who followed us around and even slept on our porch the whole night before.  Then we hiked back to Railay Beach so we could hike to the “viewpoint” on top of a ledge on one of the limestone rock formations jutting out towards the far end of the peninsula.

Making our way to the hike, it was very steep, so we had to hold onto ropes put there and essentially rock climb our way up the red clay jungly rock. At the top we saw a family of monkeys sitting in the trees enjoying the view of the sea and coves. It was spectacular to sit there for the next 45 minutes enjoying it with them. We met several other really cool tourists, from Norway, Australia and Washington state, exchanging travel stories and Instagram handles. Making our way down before dark we met a guy who knew Nate’s American friend, an expat in Bangkok who owns a chain of hostels for gungho party tourists. What a small world it is! 

Back on the main restaurant strip in Railay we stopped in for a tropical drink while listening to a kickass reggae cover band and a handmade wooden bar with a jenga game and sandy floor. We met two yoga retreat girls who had travelled throughout Thailand together, one American and one British. It was fun to talk about travel, location independence and trying to get off the beaten track and learn about new cultures. They were intrigued about our year in Merida and our choice to live abroad long term.

That last night we decided to hike the shorter “treacherours” path along the rocky cliffs we had avoided the previous nights, to get from Railay to Tonsai Beach. Using our phones for flashlights and doing our best to avoid any run-ins with spooky nocturnal critters or dangerous drop offs in the ocean, we got home around 2am. 

The next morning I woke up with dozens of mosquito bites on my legs, which was becoming a norm. As I sat on the front porch with the sweet tabby cat rubbing his head on me I told Nate, “This eco-bug spray just doesn’t work!” I guess the mosquitos have always loved me, so it didn’t alarm me, merely made me chuckle a bit.

Leaving Paradise

Taking the longtail boat back to Ao Nang pier, we loaded all our bags onto the wooden boat. It was a little sad to leave but we were ready to get back to “civilization.” We had rented our next airbnb in Ao Nang City with A/C, a nicer bathroom with a hot shower plus a kitchen and wifi. Amenities that we are always grateful to have! The next few days we enjoyed the more modern setup and Nate was able to work on VIP Kid again, while I was able to get in some more editing work on my laptop. 

We planned to go on a boat tour of the nearby “Hong Islands” on our last day there because it was the only time that lined up with Nate’s teaching schedule. The afternoon before our tour, I walked down to Ao Nong beach with my iphone and listened to several inspirational podcasts. I did some yoga on the beach and hiked around one of the rocky cliffs to another more secluded beach. There were still people so it didn’t feel dangerous. I walked down a floating dock and laid down just feeling the rolling waves beneath my flat body. The sun on my skin felt so good. The sun was close to setting so I walked back home after snapping a bunch of photos of the sunset on the sea (along with hundreds of other tourists). I was feeling extra tired but didn’t think too much of it. I hit the hay early as soon as I got back and enjoyed the A/C and cool sheets.

Dengue Takes A Hold of Me

The next morning I woke up before dawn, in the dark, gasping for air – my body shaking violently and heavy chills moving up and down my body. I immediately started looking for long leggings, socks and a sweatshirt to keep me warm – it felt like I was in an ice cave in the antarctic. I crawled back into bed curling up in a fetal position and hugging the blankets around me, even covering my face. The backs of my hips and knees felt like they were being crushed slowly in painful waves and the only way I could curtail the pain enough was to make myself so hot and contained in the blankets in a little cocoon, that the heat would put me to sleep. These waves of pain, chills and trying to sleep went on for hours. The alarm went off at 7am and I took the longest hot shower – the only thing I could seem to do while standing. I felt like my body might collapse any moment. 

Nate asked “are you sure you still want to go?” Well here’s the thing. I can be really stubborn. We had already paid for the tour and Nate had changed his schedule to accommodate it and it was our last day in paradise. “Yes,” I said, “Let’s still go – we have to.”

Hong Island Tour Day Despite All Odds

8am. Loading up on an open air very touristy and gaudy wagon-bus, at the top of the hill from our airbnb. I was doing my best to not feel faint. More and more people kept hopping on and scrunching in. There were so many people, some had to hang off the back ledge to fit on. We finally made it to the other end of the town to a large grove of trees near the water. We split up into our respective tours (lots of tourists were signed up for different island tours) and walked out to our speed boat waiting for us. 

Looking back, thank God it was a speed boat and not a rickety longtail boat or the kind of motor boat that bounces you harshly against every wave, creating a headache if you’re prone to it. We sat at the back and enjoyed watching the water and passing islands trail behind us as we sped along our journey. Everyone on the boat, couples and little groups, were mostly young people, all very polite and kind of quiet. The pain in my hips and legs was coming and going with the waves of the sea underneath us and the fever was growing worse by the minute. Feeling faint I held onto Nate and moaned and groaned a little, trying to hold it back. I was sure the other people were looking at me thinking “what in the world is wrong with that girl?” but no one asked. They just sort of smiled and politely turned away from us. Nate also lost his hat in the breeze that whipped it back and into the sea in a few seconds. 

The water was the most beautiful clear aqua color I’d ever seen (next to the Caribbean) as we approached the first island. We got out for a few minutes and snorkeled and took some iconic pictures on the wooden swing. I thought I was feeling a little better for a moment, the scenery was so beautiful.

The next island was equally beautiful except without the tall limestone walls of the last one. We had lunch and the tour company was kind enough to have some vegetarian noodles for us. I ate a tiny bit, but I was more interested in eating the fresh slices of watermelon and pineapple. I couldn’t get enough. It was soothing my feverish blood and made me feel more alive; my body was aching a lot and I felt like I was about to fall over. I found my way to a hot sandy spot next to the island’s sign and lay down in a yoga corpse position. The very hot sand beneath me felt like the only thing that could heal me. With the fever and body aches came waves of intense chills. The hot grains of sand were like natural pain killers for some strange reason. Multiple tourists came up to take a photo with the sign and I was too out of it to even care or move. I may have showed up in the bottom of their pictures.

The last Hong island was the most beautiful of all – like a hidden gem in a sea of treasures. We had two hours to explore and I was feeling close to the worst I have probably ever felt in my life (the fever got worse). The fever, aches and fatigue were in full throttle and all I could think about was a stretch of sand to lay on.

I found a spot under a palm tree for some shade and passed out for a good 30 minutes or longer while Nate swam nearby, checking on me every few minutes. Finally I felt a little surge of energy come back and I joined Nate in the glistening water, at first feeling a little shock from the coldness of it.

Hong island is set up like a hidden beach and protected cove behind tall walls of limestone and palm trees. It was truly paradise and I was happy I got to be distracted from what was taking hold of my body that day just for that small moment. We floated in the water with our life jackets for the next hour. Even though the water was slightly cold it was also refreshing to me. We got to see a little bit of coral and colorful schools of fish, though the water clarity wasn’t super clear that day. Nate pushed me away from a huge jellyfish in the nick of time too, thank God – what a disaster that could have been!

We made it back to the boat on time and back to the grove beach where we had started. Then back on the wagon where I couldn’t wait to get back to our airbnb and crawl into bed to crash, which I promptly did. The fever had taken full hold of me by that point and all I could do was curl up in a tiny ball and groan. The pain in my hips and legs felt like my bones were breaking. All I could do was try to sleep as best as I could. We had our flight back to Bangkok the next day before our flight scheduled to Bali the day after that. I was foolishly and optimistically hoping the fever would pass by the next morning. Our airbnb host told Nate it sounded like dengue fever (they were used to it). I had no idea what dengue fever even was. Somehow I managed to fall asleep that night. 

TO BE CONTINUED…